9 Ways to Get Close in Your Relationship

You love your partner with all your heart. You’d do anything for them. But right now, what you could both really use is some reconnection. Whether that emotional intimacy is feeling a little faded right now, or you’re just looking for new ways to bond as a couple, I’ve got chu. We all crave that human connection, but especially in our romantic relationships. Sometimes, that connection feels a bit weak. That’s totally normal, so don’t worry. If you’re looking for how to get closer in your relationship, I’m sharing my top tips for reconnection and a stronger bond with your bebe. After this post, you’ll have the tools and inspiration to reconnect with your partner for a thriving relationship that’ll have you finishing each others’ –sandwiches! (And sentences.)

Man and woman in an embrace, with the woman holding the man's face

Read this if your relationship sucks

"You cannot force someone to love you the way you deserve... But you can walk away when they don't," quote surrounded by flowers

This entire post is written with the assumption that you’re in a relationship that both partners want to last, with the person that you both want to be with. If that’s the case, these tips on the best ways to make your partner feel loved can help enrich and strengthen your relationship.

IF, however, you’re in a relationship with someone who clearly isn’t trying, doesn’t care or respect the relationship as much as you, cheats on you, or emotionally manipulates you, then please know that these tips probably will not help you.

Why? Because your partner doesn’t want it as badly as you do. I don’t know your personal situation, but I do know that when only one of you wants the relationship to work and the other person just doesn’t care that much, then rarely–if ever–can anything save the relationship.

I’m sorry for the bluntness, but I feel it needs to be said. I’m saying this from personal experience and out of a genuine desire to see you in the happiest, most loving relationship possible.

And if your SO isn’t willing to put in effort, well. They probably don’t deserve someone like you who’s willing to scour the internet for relationship tips anyway.

I’m not saying to give up right away. There are times when people are exhausted from trying to fix their relationship, and that’s normal when going through tough times. This is just a reminder that it takes two to make it work. If your partner doesn’t care as much as you, you probably already know all this.

Now on to the good stuff.

How to get closer in your relationship

Tip 1: Try an activity that’s new to both of you

Woman's hand dipping a paintbrush into a paint palette

You know that nervous thrill you get when you’re about to do something you’ve never ever done before? It’s like a tiny adrenaline rush, even if the thing you’re about to do isn’t inherently scary or dangerous. Sharing that same feeling with your partner is a great way to bring yourselves closer! You’re both in a new environment together, feeling the same things.

When you and your bebe do something brand new together, it’s an experience you can share that ties you together. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Rock climbing
Surfing
A wine and paint night
Trying a yoga class
Go to a beer/wine/coffee tasting
Run a marathon
White water rafting
Learn a new language
Start a YouTube channel or podcast (you can share relationship advice!)
Attend a pottery class
Visit a new town together (get an Airbnb and make it a mini-vacay!)
Go scuba diving

Tip 2: Read books together

It’s like a book club… But sexier and with more kissing between the members.

Reading a book with your boo thang is a fun way to get a conversation going, especially if you feel like you’ve run out of things to talk about.

There’s a few ways you can do this:

You can both get your own copy of the book to read separately. Make some coffee or tea, or pour a glass of wine for you to sit together and read to yourselves. It’s fun, allows you to focus on your own thoughts, and still be in the same room together. After you finish the chapter, you can sit and chat about it!
You can take turns reading out loud to each other. One of you can read a chapter out loud, while the other listens or follows along. This is great for us oddballs who always raised our hands when the teacher asked for someone to read a passage to the class. (And it’s actually quite romantic.)
Get the book on audio, if neither of you are big into reading. I have a friend who loves stories, but hates reading. So, he listened to someone read the entire Harry Potter series on YouTube. Listening to audio books is fun so you can hear the story at the same pace, without someone having to do all the work of reading out loud.

Choose whatever genre interests you both. Or, stretch yourselves and try a new type of book that’s out of your usual genre.

Another tip is to read relationship advice books together.

Reading relationship books is not just for those who need a hail Mary to save their relationship. Relationship books are great for all couples who want to grow together and make their relationship even better.

Remember: You can always be better to your SO before a near-break-up experience requires it.

I’ve linked a couple of my top picks for couples to read below that can help strengthen anyone’s relationship, regardless of how strong it already is.

Tip 3: Set goals as a couple

Notepad with "goals" written at the top, on a desk with a keyboard, a pen, flowers and sticky notes

Another great way to bond with your partner is to create a common goal and work toward it together.

It’s kind of like if you and your partner were to hike a mountain together. You both want to get to the top. There are obstacles, hardships and challenges along the way, but you’ve got this big goal to get to the top so you know you have to push through.

By the time you’ve reached the top, you’ve got scraped knees, you’re hungry and sore, and maybe you even saw a snake that scared the bejeebies out of you. But you did it. Together, you accomplished your goal and were by each other’s side through the thick and thin of it.

Now that I’ve painted a picture for you, let me tell you plainly. Creating goals as a couple is a bonding experience, much like hiking a mountain together, that can bring you closer in so many ways.

When you both have your eyes on the same prize, you’re stronger than ever. You both want the same thing. You’ve decided the sacrifices and struggles are worth it.

Aiming for a goal you set together just reinforces the knowledge that you can count on your partner. And they can count on you.

You get to be each other’s strength when things get challenging.

For example: Say you and your partner decide you’re both going to lose weight. Together. You want to be healthier, more active and have a hobby to do together.

Now, when one of you doesn’t want to work out, the other can be that motivating push to get your booties to the gym.The next time you go out to eat, you’re both making the conscious decision to eat cleaner and healthier.

No more being the only one who cares about working out. Gone are the days when you’re eating nutritious food while your partner orders fast food takeout for the 5th time that week.

Working together toward the same goal makes you united and gives you the chance to be there for each other and lift each other up.

Tip 4: Help each other with your individual goals

Finding different ways to be supportive of your partner’s goals is one of my favorite things to do to make your relationship stronger.

Even if your goals aren’t the same, you can still do things to make your partner feel supported, which will strengthen your bond and your partner’s trust in you.

Does your SO want to lose weight? Eat healthy with them! Do they want to ace an upcoming exam? Quiz them or create a quiet study space to help out. Are they giving a presentation at work? Offer to be the audience and let them practice their pitch.

Whatever their goals are, be supportive and try to help out in whatever ways possible.

Tip 5: Go on road trips together

Road trips are so, so fun! Why not take one together? Pick a destination and go for it. Play road games, ask each other cute get-to-know-you-better questions, sing along to your favorite songs, play a podcast or audiobook out loud, or just relax and watch the scenery go by.

Road trips are a fun thing to do to make your relationship stronger because they present new situations, places and people to encounter together as a team. Navigating new roads together and experiencing a change of scenery will bond you closer together.

Tip 6: Laugh together

Man with guitar laughing with a woman on a picnic blanket in the park

A lot. As much as possible.

Go to a comedy club. Watch a funny movie. Play a game together. Have inside jokes with each other that no one else knows.

Laughter brings people together and gives that release of serotonin. The more you can associate laughter and happy hormones with your partner, the closer you’ll become.

And don’t take yourself too seriously.

Tip 7: Struggle together at something

While it’s true that laughter brings people together, the opposite is also true. Facing hardships and challenges together, though maybe not as fun as laughing together, can bring two people closer together than just about anything.

It’s nice when things are easy-going, but facing a challenge with your partner is a surprisingly great way to bond. As my boyfriend pointed out, that’s why athletes on a team are often such good friends. They’re dealing with the workouts, the grueling training sessions, the soreness, and the exhaustion together.

Athletes on a team understand what each other is going through, and are there for each along the way. On a more extreme scale, it’s also the reason soldiers in war together form life-long friendships.

So if you and your partner are dealing with a challenge–whether it’s a common goal, financial-, career-, school-related or just general life difficulties–embrace it.

It won’t be as fun as laughing together, sipping cocktails in a comedy club, but you’ll be surprised at how close difficult times can bring you together. If you let them.

Some challenges you can willingly enter together:

Take a course together. Sign up to take a class on anything that interests you as a couple. Help each other study, do the lessons together, and enjoy how much you have to talk about now that you’re both learning the same thing. This is also fun if you didn’t go to the same school together and never got that fun “best friends in high school/college
Assemble furniture together. It can be complicated, but can push you to practice you to work together, be patient, and figure things out together.
Rearrange the house. Or your room. It takes creativity to see things in a different way, and it takes some work to find a new spot for everything. You’ll have to work together and practice patience as you work through it.
Get jacked together. Yup, take this opportunity to get the fittest, most in shape you’ve ever been. Between the meal planning, cooking at home, working out, running together and/or complaining about how sore you are, you’ll be bonded through the struggle of getting swole.

Some challenges you might face that can make you closer in your relationship:

Facing a big transition, such as a career change or moving to a new home. In these situations, you have to rely on each other in a new phase of your life, or maybe even a completely new location where you might not know anyone else.

These times can be stressful, but dealing with them united as a couple can bring you closer while you learn to navigate new waters together.

It also gives you the chance to talk about your goals and visions for the future, and how you want to handle them together.

Facing an illness together. If you’ve ever taken care of a sick or unhealthy partner, you know that it’s hard to see them not feeling well. But at the same time, having that nurturing relationship and getting to sacrifice your time and activities to care for them will help your partner see that they can rely on you.

Dealing with a long distance relationship. Long distance is generally not a couples’ favorite thing to face, but it is a reality for many couples at least once in their relationship.

While long distance relationships have their own set of challenges, they present tons of opportunities to grow together and get closer.

Your communication skills will get stronger. Your arguing style will probably have to shift. The way you express your affection for each other will have to become more verbal. And, realistically, you’ll have to find new things to talk about since just hanging out together and making out will be off the table–at least for now.

And on top of all of that, just knowing that you both want to make it work and are willing to put in that required extra effort can help reinforce your commitment to each other.

Experiencing issues within the family. Whether that means one of you doesn’t get along with your partner’s family, or you’re dealing with issues within your own family while your partner is by your side, family issues have a way of bringing a couple together.

If they handle it correctly, that is.

Showing your partner you’re a united front, regardless of which family members you’re dealing with, can strengthen your bond as a couple. If you’re serious about the person you’re with, sticking together and standing up for each other shows that you prioritize your relationship.

Tip 8: Volunteer together

Man with his arm around a woman, wearing volunteer t-shirts in a park

When you and your partner get together to help other people, you’ll feel more united as you offer a helping hand to people in need. This creates a meaningful experience that you share together, and can reflect on as a couple.

It also takes the focus off the petty issues you might be facing as a couple, and opens your eyes to the bigger picture. You’ll feel more grateful for what you have, and each other when you see the poverty and hardship that many other people face in this world.

Not only that, but volunteering as a couple can help you find shared interests that you didn’t know you had. Maybe you both discover you have a passion for feeding the hungry. Or maybe you figure out that you’re both passionate about the environment and volunteer at a beach cleanup.

Discovering these shared passions gives you more to talk about, and do together for yet another bonding experience.

Practicing acts of selflessness can also strengthen your relationship because it puts you in the habit of putting others’ first… which is also what happens in a healthy relationship.

Tip 9: Celebrate together; grieve together

When your partner accomplishes something, celebrate with them. Get hyped like it was you who got the promotion or aced a test.

When I got my first big article published in a local magazine, my boyfriend was so excited that he sent the article to just about everyone in his family and posted it on his social media. Like, wow. That kind of support and celebration will make anyone feel amazing!

On the other hand, when your partner is grieving or taking a loss, don’t go out to party with your friends or brag about how great your day was. Not yet at least! Sit with your love in their sadness for a while. Let them feel seen and heard. Then try to lift them out of it.

You don’t have to stay miserable with them, but don’t abandon them in their feelings either.

How to Get Closer in a Relationship Conclusion

There it is, friend! Now that you know my best tips to bring you and your partner closer than ever, you can get started on strengthening your relationship even more. For my post-skimmers, here’s quick recap. To get closer in your relationship, do these 9 things:

Try an activity that’s new to both of you
Read books together
Set goals as a couple
Support each other’s individual goals
Go on road trips
Laugh together
Struggle together with something
Volunteer together
Celebrate together; grieve together

What do you and your partner do to keep that emotional intimacy? Let me know in the comments below! If this post was helpful, I’d super appreciate if you took a quick sec to share it. The share buttons are on the left 🙂

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TIl next time, ya hot tamales.

Love, hugs and positive vibes,

<3 Sav

9 Ways to Get Closer in Your Relationship for a Stronger Love

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