Do you feel like you struggle more than most people when it comes to managing your negativity? Do you notice the way some people can face a sucky situation head on and still somehow stay positive? If you’re looking for advice on how to keep a positive mindset regardless of your circumstances, you’re in the right place. After years of experience in negative environments–by my own doing as well as being in a negative environment–I’ve come up with my top 15 tips for how to stay positive no matter what. This post will give you the tools you need to maintain a positive attitude even on the toughest days. You’ll feel empowered to have more joy and energy, feel way less stressed, and simply enjoy your life more.
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Why think positive?
Everyone talks about how important it is to “stay positive.” “Good vibes only!” “Be your own sunshine!” And all those quaint little phrases are nice to say when your friend is going through a hard time and, well, you really don’t know what else to say to her.
But what’s the point? Why bother trying to stay positive when things are clearly sucking? Well, I’ll tell ya.
Besides the obvious–not feeling miserable all the time–thinking positively has countless benefits.
According to this article, the health benefits of positive thinking include:
- Increased life span
- Lower rates of depression
- Lower levels of distress
- Greater resistance to the common cold
- Better psychological and physical well-being
- Better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
- More coping skills during hardships and times of stress
Besides the health aspect, thinking positive is going to lead to more opportunity and, well, more fun in your life! Generally speaking, nobody enjoys feeling miserable and thinking negative all the time, right?
You’ve only got one life to live, and I know you don’t want to spend it down in the dumps.
Common misconceptions about positive thinking
Some people think positive thinking means putting on blinders, having your head in the clouds or just not caring about much. None of these things are true!
People who think positively aren’t unaware of the bad things in the world or in their own life. It just means they see those things from a different perspective and are more optimistic about a positive or productive outcome.
Again, let me reiterate that people who think positively still care about things. It’s not that they lack caring, which makes them seem to be more joyful, optimistic people; they just don’t let themselves get so caught up in the emotion of a bad day/situation that it controls their behavior or attitude.
You can maintain a positive mindset AND go through truly awful events in your life without a) choosing to ignore them or b) becoming apathetic/uncaring about those things.
So without any more delay, let’s dive into my 15 super honest tips to overcome your negativity.
1. Notice every good thing
You might feel like you’re just naturally a negative person. Or maybe you’re just noticing that lately, you’ve been seeing everything through a poop-colored lens. (Okay, it’s a gross analogy, but you know what I’m saying.)
Regardless, somewhere along the way you learned to magnify the negatives, the rude comments from people, the bad days, etc. If you learned to magnify the negative, it’s gonna be okay! It’s not too late to learn how to magnify the positives.
Get in the habit of noticing every. Single. Good. Thing.
2. Start your day with intention
Are you used to starting your day scrollin’ through the ‘Gram? Same, boo. But while it might be an easy, effortless way to get your brain and eyes awake first thing in the day, it’s not the most joy-inducing habit.
Get into the habit of reaching for your journal or playing an upbeat song first thing in the day. For my Jesus people, get one of those 3 minutes devotionals to start your day with positivity and scripture!
Take a few moments before leaving your room to prepare mentally and emotionally. Meditate. Practice slow, steady breathing. Speak positive affirmations about the kind of day you’re going to have.
You can’t control everything about your external environment, but you can ABSOLUTELY control your own thoughts and internal environment.
3. Speak affirmations daily
Make the decision to spend 5 minutes every morning to speak positivity into your life and your atmosphere.
Declare your intentions for the day. State to yourself that you’re going to keep a positive attitude regardless of other people’s behaviors. Try these affirmations to get you started:
- I am in control of my emotions.
- I see challenges as opportunities.
- Frustrating circumstances do not provoke me to lash out.
- I don’t sweat the small stuff.
- My behavior and responses are under my control. I do not need to be in charge of everyone else.
- I sustain my own positive energy.
- People and circumstances don’t phase me because my peace comes from within.
4. Write down your gratitudes
When things start sucking in life, it can get really difficult to remember anything good.
To remind yourself of the happy moments and the things that have gone right for you, use a journal to write down 5 things you’re grateful for every night.
Using a journal like this one to keep track of good things helps you stay positive no matter what in two ways:
- By practicing a mindset of joyful gratitude, you’ll gradually learn to think positive thoughts naturally. You won’t even have to force it anymore!
- You’ll have a physical journal of good and happy things to look back on when you feel unhappy.
5. Refuse to play the victim
When you’re trying to practice an attitude of positivity or gratitude, do you ever find yourself coming up with excuses for why it’s so hard to stay positive?
Maybe you find yourself thinking something along these lines:
- I could be more positive if ___ wasn’t always so negative!
- It’d be easier to be grateful if I had _____.
- I used to be a positive person, but then _____ ruined it.
Those blanks could be filled with a particular person’s name, your job, a situation, something you’re going through, or something that happened in the past.
The problem is, when you blame your negativity on other people or other things, you are playing the victim and giving away all your power. Playing the victim might feel good in the moment because it gives you an excuse to give into negativity, but it’s a bad habit in the long run.
There’s freedom in taking responsibility for your own ish. Recognize that you are in control of you. Your emotions, behavior, reactions, words, and energy are all your responsibility.
6. Take control of the areas you can control
This point kind of goes along with #5, but another way to cultivate positivity no matter what is to take control of the areas in your life you DO have control over.
‘Cause let’s be honest. If your life is falling apart around you, then just putting on a good song while crying in the shower won’t make it better. (Though it is very cathartic and I highly recommend doing it at least once.)
But really. If your existence feels depressing or negative, grab the reins of your life and give ‘em a good yank.
Maybe your life feels negative because…
- You’re drowning in financial struggles. So, write out a strict budget. Cut out unnecessary costs. Seek a raise or higher paying job. Drive GrubHub on the weekends. Take responsibility for where you made poor financial decisions. Then, make better ones.
- You’re going through a breakup. You’ve got control of how you handle that! Put up boundaries. Return their stuff. Unfollow them on everything. Make a point of getting your life together.
- You’re dealing with legit depression. I know this one’s tough, and I know because I’ve been there too. Take control in even the smallest of ways. Nourish your body by eating enough, and eating wholesome foods. Seek professional help if you need it. Force yourself outside to get at least 30 minutes of sunshine. Don’t slack on your self-grooming. And refuse to let yourself believe that “This is just who I am now.” ‘Cause it’s not who you are, it’s just what you’re going through. And you’re gonna get through it.
- You simply hate the way your life is going right now. Again, YOU have the power. There are always ways to change the things you don’t like. Switch to a more fulfilling job. Stop spending time with people who aren’t good for you or good to you. Make a real effort to create healthy friendships. Dump that boy who makes you beg for effort and attention. Eat better and start exercising. Clean your room. You got this.
7. Cut out any negativity in your life possible
If you want to stay positive no matter what, it’s time to reevaluate who, where and how you spend your time.
For example, how’s your friendship circle? Is it negative/toxic? Is it full of complainers? Woe-is-me-ers?
Now, what’s your mental diet like? Are you always watching bad news? Do you practically live on social media where tons of people with way too much time on their hands complain about the world? Do you listen to music about other people who are miserable? (Dance Gavin Dance, I will always love you. But why are you so unhappy all the time?)
These things are all going to put a huge stressor on your positivity. Choose to spend your time on people and things that raise your energy and make it easier to focus on positivity.
8. Learn to laugh things off
A few weeks ago, I had “one of those days.”
I dropped and broke a plate, our cat peed on my dress on top of my brand new mattress, and when I started the dishwasher I accidentally used hand soap…. So about 40 minutes later I noticed that there was a giant ocean of bubbles and suds all over the kitchen floor.
It was all so bad, I literally had to laugh. What a ridiculous day! There was no point in being angry about any of it. It had already happened. (Alright, fine. There were more than a few tears of frustration after the cat pee incident, but eventually I laughed.)
When you take life too seriously, it can be really hard to stay positive. Things go wrong. All. The. Time.
When you learn to laugh things off and just go with the flow, you free yourself up from being bogged down by frustration and disappointment.
9. Be in the moment
Few things can cause regret, sadness and negativity like looking back. And, few things can cause anxiety like looking forward into the unknown.
Learn to be in the moment so your mind is calm and focused on what’s right in front of you.
Because what you can control is now. What you know is now. Wasting energy looking backward or forward just depletes you of positivity and joy.
And more often than not, we look back at the things we were totally freaked/devastated about and wish we hadn’t wasted so much time on it.
Try these guided meditation apps if you need help being in the moment:
- Meditation Minis (free, topic specific, perfect for people short on time)
- Headspace (2 week free trial)
- Insight Timer (free version, with guided meditation by experts and celebrities)
- Sanvello (covered by some health insurance, or starting at $8.99 per month)
10. Keep a neutral mindset
Having a neutral mindset in order to be more positive sounds a bit counter-intuitive. Isn’t the whole point to have a positive mindset all the time?
Not necessarily. And at times, we experience things that are nearly impossible to see positively.
But studies show a neutral mind frame actually helps you stay positive. Basically, the goal is to not see things as “bad” or try to force yourself to see them as “good.” They just are.
Resist getting caught up in the highs and lows (check out this article about why that’s crucial).
I also suggest you use neutral thinking when making decisions so you can think logically, and use positive thinking when decisions have already been made or circumstances are out of your control.
11. Don’t fear–or beat yourself up about– negative thoughts
You’re going to have unhappy moments in life and negative experiences. So you don’t have to lie to yourself saying you’re happy when you’re clearly not.
Allow yourself to experience the negative thought or emotion, but then release it. We’re not robots, and we can’t expect ourselves to be this blindly happy-go-lucky person 24/7.
If you try to force yourself to be positive about everything, you put unnecessary stress on yourself. And it’s actually quite a toxic environment to create for yourself. I used to beat myself up when I had bad and negative days. I thought I was supposed to be a “positive, happy person” so any thoughts I had that didn’t align with that seemed like a personal failure.
It’s still a process, but I’m learning that feeling depressed or experiencing negative emotions doesn’t define me or make me a negative person.
You can be a positive person while experiencing negative thoughts from time to time. But you have to choose to not live in those negative moments or base your whole day, attitude or identity on them.
12. Watch your mouth
Sometimes, we are the biggest supplier of negativity in our lives.
Take a moment to look at your own behavior. Do you always complain? Do you tend to point out the bad in every situation?
If so, then it’s safe to say you’re cultivating a huge chunk of your own negative environment. I’m saying this with all the love in the world: You need to stop it.
You don’t need to voice every complaint you have. By doing so, you’re making it impossible for your mind to re-train itself to think positively. I want you to find the positivity in your life. And I know you want that for yourself, too.
But it’s gotta start with you first.
13. Change the way you talk to yourself
Just like the things you say can have a negative or positive impact, the things you think can do the same.
Put a positive or neutral spin on everything you say to yourself. You already know this, but here it is again: You wanna talk to yourself the way you’d talk to your very best friend in the world.
For example. If you’re talking to your best friend who’s feeling insecure in her new job, do you say, “Yeah, you’re right. You do totally suck at your new job. And you don’t deserve to work there.”
Uh, HECK NO. You tell her, “Girl, chill! It’s ok. You’re new there and it’s going to take some time to figure it out. Keep working at it! I know you’re gonna kill it.”
By choosing to speak to yourself with love, you’re developing a positive internal environment. This will translate to positivity in everything else– your life, your mood, your self confidence, and your joy.
14. Surround yourself with positive people
If your friends are toxic, negative, sad little people, then I’ve got news for you. You’re better off enjoying your own company than forcing yourself to be around people who bring down your vibe.
They say you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time around. I don’t know if that’s true. But, if the 5 people you’re around the most are miserable and complain about their lives all the time, then there’s a good chance you’ll start to feel just as unhappy.
Staying positive no matter what life throws at you is so much simpler when you’re surrounded by positive, high-vibe people. Make an effort to befriend people who are motivated in life, keep their focus on the positive, who hold themselves accountable to their own actions, and who always strive to be the best they can be.
15. Be your own hype man
While it’s essential to surround yourself with positive people, you gotta be able to lift yourself up, too.
After all, relying on other people to encourage you 24/7 is not only unrealistic and puts way too much pressure on them, but it’s also a bit lazy.
You gotta learn the best ways to encourage yourself! Bring the positive vibes to your own day!
What do you find usually encourages you? Is it watching a sermon or inspirational TED Talk? Is it meditation? Playing a good song?
Find things that raise your frequency to one of positivity and gratitude, then make sure you actually do those things regularly to stay positive.
Resources to help you stay positive no matter what
Books
Below, I’ve listed 3 books that I think are amazing for creating more positivity in your life. I’m currently reading the first one (“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F”), I’ve read and re-read the second one (“You Are a Badass”), but I haven’t yet read the third one (“Good Vibes, Good Life”). I’ve included it anyway because I’ve heard and read great things about it, and it might be helpful for you too.
The Subtle Art of not giving a F: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
You Are a BadAss: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self Love is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness by Vex King
Podcasts
Here are several podcasts that I found during my research for positivity resources. These podcasts are praised for helping people create happier, more positive lives for themselves.
1. Happiness with Gretchen Rubin. Though this podcast doesn’t deal exclusively with “positivity,” author Gretchen Rubin shares insights, strategies, stories, and tips that help people understand themselves and create a happier life.
2. The School of Greatness. This podcast with host Lewis Howes includes interviews with incredible world-class game changers in entrepreneurship, health, mindset, and relationships, as well as solo podcasts with Howes alone. Like you might guess from the name, the goal of the podcast is to help guide listeners to find and embrace their inner greatness.
So while the podcast covers topics like mental health, it also covers things like fitness, money, nutrition, spirituality, entrepreneurship, and human rights. I suggest simply scrolling through the list of podcasts here and look for a topic that catches your eye.
3. The Lively Show. Host Jess Lively helps people experience more joy, fulfillment and presence through flow and the power of their subconscious. While this podcast is specifically geared toward entrepreneur women, it can help anyone. With over 300 podcasts, you should definitely find something that interests you in terms of finding peace and creating positivity.
If you’re particularly interested in learning more about your inner voice, start with podcast #305.
4. The Gratitude Podcast. Host Georgian Benta credits the practice of gratitude as being the number 1 thing that’s helped him in life. Now, he wants to help other people discover how to feel grateful more often and live a happy life. Tune in to hear the free podcast interviews with successful people sharing their stories about how gratitude has helped them get where they are today.
Course
- Check out these positivity courses at Udemy, one of the most popular sites for legit online courses!
Conclusion to How to Stay Positive No Matter What
And there ya have it! My top 15 tips to stay positive no matter what you’re facing. You now have the tools and methods to keep a positive mind frame regardless of what your circumstances look like. Now go out today with confidence that nothing can shake your peace as long as you choose not to let it! All the joy and energy is yours to keep. And don’t forget to spread those good vibes and positivity to others who might need it!
If this post was helpful to you, I’d super appreciate you taking a moment to share it! The share buttons are just to the left 🙂
Related reading
If you liked this post, you might also enjoy 47 Positive Affirmations for Self Worth!
Til next time ya hot tamale!
Love, hugs and good vibes,
